Break-Up Can Happen In Friendship

You read that right. You can still experience the same break-up that can happen with a romantic partner in a friendship.

Why Does It Happen?

There are times when friendship can last for many years and there are times when we lose friendship naturally as we grow apart. There are also times when a noticeable shift in the friendship dynamic and we find ourselves incompatible with the friends we made before deciding we could no longer be friends.

Many might think that some people don’t change but in reality, we are changing every day. Some changes in people are so minuscule that might not be noticeable immediately and it’s easy to adapt. Sometimes it might even grow to become one of the sources of incompatibility.

How does it Happen?

A friendship that ends in a fight, especially with a long-time friend can make us go through the same stages you feel when going through a breakup.

We all have heard of “Stages of Grief” and assume it only happens during mourning for a loss. In reality, grieving occurs whenever we face a situation that challenges or disrupts our sense of normal. It can happen here too.

What Are The Stages of Grief in Loss of Friendship?

1. Denial.

In this stage, we ask ourselves if the fight, conflict or disagreement is worth ending the friendship. This is when we try to reason with ourselves even when our friendship has become so convoluted that people would say it’s toxic.

2. Anger.

Then, we start blaming. We begin to point fingers everywhere. To ourselves, to others or even the situation itself. This stems from the fact that we aren’t ready to face the reality that this friendship can no longer continue.

3. Bargaining.

After that, it feels as if we can compromise but deep down we all know that it doesn’t work anymore. We may start thinking about the things that can be changed during the situation. Maybe believing or just half believing that it will make it all better. However, we know it won’t because it will only put us in the same cycle again and again. It can’t go on.

4. Depression. 

We start to understand at this point that there is a reason that the friendship is over. We might feel so much or sometimes nothing at all. We will become either emotionally overwhelmed or detached by the situation. 

5. Acceptance.

At this time we realise that even if things change, it might give us the same result. That friendship has long become convoluted or complicated and it can’t continue. It is time to let go. Maybe we still feel like we aren’t ready as the pain is still there but… there’s no turning back now. The friendship is over.

The Stages of Grief can be applied to many situations because love comes in many forms. One of them is through the love we give and receive from friends. Do know that some friends were only meant for a certain part of our journey but we must keep going.
Continue to make new ones. Enrich yourself. Keep going. Even if the friendship ended badly, carry the good ones and take the bad as lessons for the future.